Everyone should keep a diary! there is nothing more interesting than looking at your own posts many months later and trying to understand your own psyche from the past!
Thursday, July 23, 2015
Sunday, May 3, 2015
Yakkai thiri
beautiful tamil poem.. stole this from another blog (just for keeping record)
fanaa....... fanaa.........
"Salvation........Salvation......"
yaakkai thiri kaadhal sudar - anbae
"O love,The body is the wick and love is the flame,"
jeevan nadhi kaadhal kadal - nenjae
"My heart,Life is a river whilst love is the ocean"
piRavi pizhai kaadhal thirutham nenjae
"My heart,The sin of birth is rectified by love"
irudhayam kal kaadhal siRpam anbae
"o love, The heart is mere stone whilst love is the sculpture"
yaakai thiri kaadhal sudar - fanaa
"The body is the wick and love is the flame"
thoduvoam thodarvoam padarvoam maRavoam thuRavoam
"We will touch love, we will continue love, we will spread love, we will not forget love , we
will not renounce love"
thoduvoam thodarvoam padarvoam maRavoam iRavoam
"We will touch love, we will continue love, we will spread love, we will not forget love , we
will not die"
thoduvoam thodarvoam padarvoam maRavoam uRavoam
"We will touch love, we will continue love, we will spread love, we will not forget love , we
will develop relations"
jenmam vidhai, kaadhal pazham
"Birth is the seed love is the fruit"
loagam dhvaitham, kaadhal adhvaidham
"The world is dual, but love is non-dual"
sarvam soonyam kaadhal pinniyam
"everything is zero but love is infinite"
maanudam maayam kaadhal amaram
"humanity is an illusion while love is eternal"
ulagathin kaadhal ellaam ondrae ondrae adhu
"In this world, love is only one"
uLLangaL maaRi maaRi paayaNam poagum
"The bodies keep changing and go on far away journeys"
"Salvation........Salvation......"
yaakkai thiri kaadhal sudar - anbae
"O love,The body is the wick and love is the flame,"
jeevan nadhi kaadhal kadal - nenjae
"My heart,Life is a river whilst love is the ocean"
piRavi pizhai kaadhal thirutham nenjae
"My heart,The sin of birth is rectified by love"
irudhayam kal kaadhal siRpam anbae
"o love, The heart is mere stone whilst love is the sculpture"
yaakai thiri kaadhal sudar - fanaa
"The body is the wick and love is the flame"
thoduvoam thodarvoam padarvoam maRavoam thuRavoam
"We will touch love, we will continue love, we will spread love, we will not forget love , we
will not renounce love"
thoduvoam thodarvoam padarvoam maRavoam iRavoam
"We will touch love, we will continue love, we will spread love, we will not forget love , we
will not die"
thoduvoam thodarvoam padarvoam maRavoam uRavoam
"We will touch love, we will continue love, we will spread love, we will not forget love , we
will develop relations"
jenmam vidhai, kaadhal pazham
"Birth is the seed love is the fruit"
loagam dhvaitham, kaadhal adhvaidham
"The world is dual, but love is non-dual"
sarvam soonyam kaadhal pinniyam
"everything is zero but love is infinite"
maanudam maayam kaadhal amaram
"humanity is an illusion while love is eternal"
ulagathin kaadhal ellaam ondrae ondrae adhu
"In this world, love is only one"
uLLangaL maaRi maaRi paayaNam poagum
"The bodies keep changing and go on far away journeys"
Thursday, March 26, 2015
Pearl of Wisdom?
I didn't expect this pearl of wisdom when I was reading about breast implants and plastic surgery (i was curious to know what motivated women to do such crap!).
Quoted below are the words of a psychotherapist and i love it because it applies to all areas of life.
"Dissatisfaction has to be linked to possibility, and if we are aware that it is possible to make a change, we begin to wonder whether we need that change"
Quoted below are the words of a psychotherapist and i love it because it applies to all areas of life.
"Dissatisfaction has to be linked to possibility, and if we are aware that it is possible to make a change, we begin to wonder whether we need that change"
Sunday, March 22, 2015
The story of Murali and Venu
The movie is called Nenjil Or Aalayam (a temple in the heart). An iconic tamil movie in every way. Remade in hindi too (sadly named Dil Ek Mandir, The heart is a temple - completely losing the beauty of the tamil name). It was one of the earliest tamil movies to be screened at the Cannes Film Festival!
Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YcRlNPP22I4
It's a timeless story, and rivals Casablanca many times over in simplicity and beauty. Kannadasan's lyrics, Shridhar's dialogue, Kalyan's dignity, Muthuraman's authenticity, Devika's grace - each of these are iconic in it's own class and I have spent many many days lost in the lyrics and the music and have cried over the movie many times over.
Plot in 1 Para: Sita and Murali are in love with each other. Due to extenuating circumstance she marries Venu (Note: Murali and Venu both refer to flute!). Sita is an Indian woman of the 60s and believes that her husband is everything for her and has forced herself to move on and forget Murali altogether. But her husband contracts lung cancer and come to Dr. Murali for surgery. During his stay in the hospital he comes to know that his wife used to be Murali's lover and is shocked. But he realizes that she truly worships her husband and he greatly admires the doctor (who refuses to marry anyone in her memory). So he requests him to remarry her if he dies. But shockingly he survives and the doctor dies (whether of over-work or of a broken heart that finally gave out is anybody's guess).
The only thing difficult to swallow is the overlaying of the Indian value system in what is otherwise a beautiful movie. But that somehow adds to rather than detract from the beauty of the movie.
The best bits are here:
1) "Ninaithathellam nadanthu vittal, theivam yethum illai,
Nadanthathaye ninaithirunthal, amaithi yendrum illai"
If everything you thought happened, there is no need for God,
If you keep thinking about everything that happened, there is no peace ever!
2) The scene where she asks for the her picture with the Dr. to be destroyed. The doctor says it is the only thing that keeps him alive. And she says that she didn't want to be thought of as less than deserving of the highest respect. She also says that she had reconciled herself to the placing her husband as idol in the temple of her heart. Each dialogue builds on the other until you can completely respect each of their thought process and logic.
3) The dr. sees the mistake in his lingering thoughts of her. He realized through her actions that he needs to move on. Realizes that while he cannot control his thoughts, he can control his actions, that instead of indulging his thoughts, he should focus on what he can do with his life. He tells his mother that he agrees to get married.
4) When her husband asks her to marry the doctor if something happens to her, he talks about her life after his death, in societal terms. What happens to her, and how he cares for her just as a brother would. She turns it around in her song as "In someone else's arms, who who who, me?". By personalizing the issue she explains to him how his thought process is fully unacceptable to her.
5) Ultimately when the Dr. saves her husband's life, he rushes to let her know. And then it sinks in him that with this, she is out of his life completely. As if his mind cannot accept the fact, he tells her and dies of a heart attack. (the one piece I would change in the movie was for her to support him as he falls to his death. Here again she strictly follows the honor code of not touching him and let's him die on the floor. This I couldn't stomach. Didn't she owe him anything???) As if proving a quote that "Pure love for a fellow being is death".
Anyways - it's a must watch movie.
Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YcRlNPP22I4
It's a timeless story, and rivals Casablanca many times over in simplicity and beauty. Kannadasan's lyrics, Shridhar's dialogue, Kalyan's dignity, Muthuraman's authenticity, Devika's grace - each of these are iconic in it's own class and I have spent many many days lost in the lyrics and the music and have cried over the movie many times over.
Plot in 1 Para: Sita and Murali are in love with each other. Due to extenuating circumstance she marries Venu (Note: Murali and Venu both refer to flute!). Sita is an Indian woman of the 60s and believes that her husband is everything for her and has forced herself to move on and forget Murali altogether. But her husband contracts lung cancer and come to Dr. Murali for surgery. During his stay in the hospital he comes to know that his wife used to be Murali's lover and is shocked. But he realizes that she truly worships her husband and he greatly admires the doctor (who refuses to marry anyone in her memory). So he requests him to remarry her if he dies. But shockingly he survives and the doctor dies (whether of over-work or of a broken heart that finally gave out is anybody's guess).
The only thing difficult to swallow is the overlaying of the Indian value system in what is otherwise a beautiful movie. But that somehow adds to rather than detract from the beauty of the movie.
The best bits are here:
1) "Ninaithathellam nadanthu vittal, theivam yethum illai,
Nadanthathaye ninaithirunthal, amaithi yendrum illai"
If everything you thought happened, there is no need for God,
If you keep thinking about everything that happened, there is no peace ever!
2) The scene where she asks for the her picture with the Dr. to be destroyed. The doctor says it is the only thing that keeps him alive. And she says that she didn't want to be thought of as less than deserving of the highest respect. She also says that she had reconciled herself to the placing her husband as idol in the temple of her heart. Each dialogue builds on the other until you can completely respect each of their thought process and logic.
3) The dr. sees the mistake in his lingering thoughts of her. He realized through her actions that he needs to move on. Realizes that while he cannot control his thoughts, he can control his actions, that instead of indulging his thoughts, he should focus on what he can do with his life. He tells his mother that he agrees to get married.
4) When her husband asks her to marry the doctor if something happens to her, he talks about her life after his death, in societal terms. What happens to her, and how he cares for her just as a brother would. She turns it around in her song as "In someone else's arms, who who who, me?". By personalizing the issue she explains to him how his thought process is fully unacceptable to her.
5) Ultimately when the Dr. saves her husband's life, he rushes to let her know. And then it sinks in him that with this, she is out of his life completely. As if his mind cannot accept the fact, he tells her and dies of a heart attack. (the one piece I would change in the movie was for her to support him as he falls to his death. Here again she strictly follows the honor code of not touching him and let's him die on the floor. This I couldn't stomach. Didn't she owe him anything???) As if proving a quote that "Pure love for a fellow being is death".
Anyways - it's a must watch movie.
Saturday, February 14, 2015
a genius or a politician?
i like sherlock holmes and gregory house. I like guys who are always right. It is so easy to be with them. they know what to do - and even while they go through a phase of not knowing what to do, you know they will eventually figure it out! that's why being a genius is so good! and being with a genius is so good too!
but if they are not normal and don't bend to society's will or are unable to bend the society's will to theirs (like a politician) then they become more trouble than they are worth unless they are in specialized roles like a detective or a diagnostic doctor.. a researcher or a professor or a software engineer is a wasted career for these guys.
a genius (highest iq) and a politician (higher eq) are at the opposite end of the spectrum. most people are somewhere in this spectrum. i am not sure which end makes a better person to live with - one who knows all the answers but can't necessarily get there smoothly, or one who knows a good enough answer and also how to get it!
interesting to think about isn't it???
but if they are not normal and don't bend to society's will or are unable to bend the society's will to theirs (like a politician) then they become more trouble than they are worth unless they are in specialized roles like a detective or a diagnostic doctor.. a researcher or a professor or a software engineer is a wasted career for these guys.
a genius (highest iq) and a politician (higher eq) are at the opposite end of the spectrum. most people are somewhere in this spectrum. i am not sure which end makes a better person to live with - one who knows all the answers but can't necessarily get there smoothly, or one who knows a good enough answer and also how to get it!
interesting to think about isn't it???
Monday, January 19, 2015
version 2.0
been a holiday for second versions..
on friday i saw shall we dance, the american version (after originally seeing the japanese version). and now sabrina, the 1995 version after seeing the original 1954 version a few weeks ago...
i was disappointed by the american version of shall we dance.. perhaps in the slavering attitude of the husbands expected in the west or the missing silent dignity of the wife in the east that made the movie lesser.. or even jen lopez's very pretentious good girlness contrasting so sharply with the natural grace of her japanese couterpart.. the story was the same, the cultures it was set in different.. and somehow it didn't work. it was an interesting experience..
in the second instance, the only difference is the time.. 40 years between the two movies.. luxury is more luxurious in the 1990's with a private jet, compared to the 1950's.. and no one can compare to audrey hepburn.. let alone a mostly unknown actress, julia osmond. i missed the instantly charming smile of hepburn and her expression of youthful innocence.. it came so naturally to her! no one will fall for osmond in an hour.. it's not believable! (i know this from experience, i would never expect anyone to fall for me in an hour. they should be exposed to me for hours and hours and should start to like the non-sense that i am apt to continually spout out, before my charm begins to ever so slowly take effect. but even once its done, it's not enough to make anyone move mole-hills, let alone mountains) but this shortcoming of the movie is more than made up for by harrison ford who takes the seat of humphrey bogart (who by the way is the most bogus actor of hollywood, casablanca not withstanding). ford fully humanizes the role that was performed so woodenly by bogart, so much so that i wanted to tear into the screen and scratch his face just to see some proof of life in him!
i have had 2.0 experiences in my life... how do they compare to the original? there is a baseline to compare.. so that is nice.. when you peak your prior experience, you know its special... but sometimes if the characters don't change that much, the results don't change that much either.. so it is doomed to disappoint.
on friday i saw shall we dance, the american version (after originally seeing the japanese version). and now sabrina, the 1995 version after seeing the original 1954 version a few weeks ago...
i was disappointed by the american version of shall we dance.. perhaps in the slavering attitude of the husbands expected in the west or the missing silent dignity of the wife in the east that made the movie lesser.. or even jen lopez's very pretentious good girlness contrasting so sharply with the natural grace of her japanese couterpart.. the story was the same, the cultures it was set in different.. and somehow it didn't work. it was an interesting experience..
in the second instance, the only difference is the time.. 40 years between the two movies.. luxury is more luxurious in the 1990's with a private jet, compared to the 1950's.. and no one can compare to audrey hepburn.. let alone a mostly unknown actress, julia osmond. i missed the instantly charming smile of hepburn and her expression of youthful innocence.. it came so naturally to her! no one will fall for osmond in an hour.. it's not believable! (i know this from experience, i would never expect anyone to fall for me in an hour. they should be exposed to me for hours and hours and should start to like the non-sense that i am apt to continually spout out, before my charm begins to ever so slowly take effect. but even once its done, it's not enough to make anyone move mole-hills, let alone mountains) but this shortcoming of the movie is more than made up for by harrison ford who takes the seat of humphrey bogart (who by the way is the most bogus actor of hollywood, casablanca not withstanding). ford fully humanizes the role that was performed so woodenly by bogart, so much so that i wanted to tear into the screen and scratch his face just to see some proof of life in him!
i have had 2.0 experiences in my life... how do they compare to the original? there is a baseline to compare.. so that is nice.. when you peak your prior experience, you know its special... but sometimes if the characters don't change that much, the results don't change that much either.. so it is doomed to disappoint.
Saturday, January 17, 2015
Two more pieces of art!
What a most beautiful way to spend my saturday morning. Bought two more pieces of art. One of Portofino Italy and another of Upolu, Samoa an island near new zealand.
These will adorn me bedroom!! Yeyyyy!!!!!
These will adorn me bedroom!! Yeyyyy!!!!!
getting over someone..
for men - getting over someone must be like crossing mole-hill.. they do it quick and move on to their real pursuits, like work, hobbies etc. for women, as cliched and stereotypical as it sounds, it must be like scaling the everest. for some reason we have evolved to be dominantly affected by personal matters..
in her most tortured moments, when she knows he has moved on, and she has to do too, she still has bittersweet thoughts... in the sweetest moment, it is imagining her cheek pressed against her lovers as unconsciousness claims her (from sleep or death doesn't matter).. in the most painful moments, it is clapping her eyes on him (something she never thought possible in this lifetime) and turning away in indifference and remembered pain. in her angry moments, it is walk over to him and slap his haunting face.. and many times it starts with a sweet thought, followed quickly by a painful one and ending in an angry one before reverting to a certain characteristic numbness.. thank god for that... it is the natural anesthetic that we put on ourselves to enable us to not feel the pain.. sometimes you wake up from it and feel the raw intensity of pain and get shocked... but you quickly dose yourself again and go back to being numb.. it is survival. like being in post-op forever.
the pain like the love never goes away :(
in her most tortured moments, when she knows he has moved on, and she has to do too, she still has bittersweet thoughts... in the sweetest moment, it is imagining her cheek pressed against her lovers as unconsciousness claims her (from sleep or death doesn't matter).. in the most painful moments, it is clapping her eyes on him (something she never thought possible in this lifetime) and turning away in indifference and remembered pain. in her angry moments, it is walk over to him and slap his haunting face.. and many times it starts with a sweet thought, followed quickly by a painful one and ending in an angry one before reverting to a certain characteristic numbness.. thank god for that... it is the natural anesthetic that we put on ourselves to enable us to not feel the pain.. sometimes you wake up from it and feel the raw intensity of pain and get shocked... but you quickly dose yourself again and go back to being numb.. it is survival. like being in post-op forever.
the pain like the love never goes away :(
Thursday, January 15, 2015
my fan worship of benedict cumberbatch
ok - i spent 15 hours in the last 3 days watching sherlock! as you can imagine, i was transformed at the end of it into a HUGE benedict cumberbatch fan! i loved his energy and how his face contorted when he pronounced plain english words making each of them sound like shakespeare's quotes!
the 3 day high immediately died when i heard that he is engaged and expecting a child no less! and i found it so funny! here is random person somewhere on earth whose talent i admired so much so that i thought for a few moments that i was in love! and then i come to know that this person is engaged to some other random women and i was crestfallen and heartbroken!!
human feelings are so messed up and i have no idea what purpose evolution saw in making man as such a murky creature, full of strange whims and weird strengths.
anyhow - a 3 day high is still a 3 day high, and i enjoyed it while it lasted. good bye and good luck mr. cumberbatch!
the 3 day high immediately died when i heard that he is engaged and expecting a child no less! and i found it so funny! here is random person somewhere on earth whose talent i admired so much so that i thought for a few moments that i was in love! and then i come to know that this person is engaged to some other random women and i was crestfallen and heartbroken!!
human feelings are so messed up and i have no idea what purpose evolution saw in making man as such a murky creature, full of strange whims and weird strengths.
anyhow - a 3 day high is still a 3 day high, and i enjoyed it while it lasted. good bye and good luck mr. cumberbatch!
Monday, January 12, 2015
My all time favorite Old Tamil songs!
The very definition of experience of passion for the first time: anubhavam puthumai
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xuoaQAhV8ZA
A beautiful song on declaring love for the first time: Anbulla maanvizhiye
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6aoeCr0kmAc
A beautiful, light and flirtatious dance song: Avalukku enna?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KiYCD6Nldqg
A song of seduction: Palingunal oru maligai
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5MDOr0gq0-8
A haunting number (the singer gets murdered by the guy who is taken with her): Paartha nyabagam illayo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xNInBEF8E7M
Brother-sister love: Malarndhum malarada
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R9zT_GGGL7M
The shameless innocence of first love: Enna Enna Varthaigalo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CsqxRsGCpR8
My mother's all time favorite song: Poga Poga Theriyum
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4pXhV2y6P6g
A light song - but beautiful tune: Padatha pattellam
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e9gw8f7a510
A teasing song between happy lovers (before things go hooribly wrong): Vaadikkai maranthathu eno?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XUFiNhC8CcA
My all time favorite MGR-Saroja Devi song; Unnarugil naan irunthaal
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8emUszS4fXI
Sad song: Ninaipethellam nadanthuvittal
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HvTIQIi7e9I
An Ode to Dance. I am yet to see a better dance. That's the quality of this one. Don't think I will in this lifetime! Look at the bhavana, the grace - aha!: Kannum Kannum Kalandhu
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x2QZeL69DiI
This is the first song in tamil that so blatantly talks about sex. tamil song lyrics are far more potent than any english or hindi song that i have heard. it's almost like the language of the tropical land carried with it that extra heat ;P It's a first night song and sung no less by two people who went to become chief ministers of tamil nadu. now you understand the tamilian people: Naanamo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aOBfHqMOjsY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xuoaQAhV8ZA
A beautiful song on declaring love for the first time: Anbulla maanvizhiye
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6aoeCr0kmAc
A beautiful, light and flirtatious dance song: Avalukku enna?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KiYCD6Nldqg
A song of seduction: Palingunal oru maligai
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5MDOr0gq0-8
A haunting number (the singer gets murdered by the guy who is taken with her): Paartha nyabagam illayo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xNInBEF8E7M
Brother-sister love: Malarndhum malarada
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R9zT_GGGL7M
The shameless innocence of first love: Enna Enna Varthaigalo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CsqxRsGCpR8
My mother's all time favorite song: Poga Poga Theriyum
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4pXhV2y6P6g
A light song - but beautiful tune: Padatha pattellam
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e9gw8f7a510
A teasing song between happy lovers (before things go hooribly wrong): Vaadikkai maranthathu eno?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XUFiNhC8CcA
My all time favorite MGR-Saroja Devi song; Unnarugil naan irunthaal
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8emUszS4fXI
Sad song: Ninaipethellam nadanthuvittal
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HvTIQIi7e9I
An Ode to Dance. I am yet to see a better dance. That's the quality of this one. Don't think I will in this lifetime! Look at the bhavana, the grace - aha!: Kannum Kannum Kalandhu
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x2QZeL69DiI
This is the first song in tamil that so blatantly talks about sex. tamil song lyrics are far more potent than any english or hindi song that i have heard. it's almost like the language of the tropical land carried with it that extra heat ;P It's a first night song and sung no less by two people who went to become chief ministers of tamil nadu. now you understand the tamilian people: Naanamo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aOBfHqMOjsY
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