shah rukh khan..

i realized that i had written too many serious posts in the last 4 days.. which is not fair, since i am a fairly happy person and anyone reading it will think I am not.. so thought i will put some of my happier thoughts here :) about shah rukh khan.. i just saw DDLJ for the twentieth time i think (although not in a long time now) and fell in love with him all over again.. and as i was regaling to my husband the effect of shah rukh in my life, i thought it might make good blog material :D

so along with countless others across India, i had given my heart and soul to king khan.. and even though i was hard core tam in everything else, i had a large poster of shah rukh khan staring at me in my room for all the four years of my undergrad.. his face was the first i saw when i woke up and the last i saw when i went to sleep (often with a sigh on my lips.. it was hard to feel lonely with his soulful eyes staring right into me as if saying he was there only for me.. worked better than all the hindu gods put together, trust me) his role in my life is as tangible as anyone else with whom i have interacted..

when my dad was buying a car in 2000, i made him buy a red santro just because it was the car with an ad by shah rukh.. and i was clear to my dad, the only car worth buying is the one that shah rukh khan recommends.. i would take my entire family with grandmom included (none of them understood hindi, not that it mattered, you only need to understand the language of the eyes to understand a shah rukh movie) to every one of his movies that got released in Trichy (trust me, there were in all some 4-5 hindi movies that released in any theatre in trichy in a year).. and dream and re-dream every scene for many nights after!! (i can't believe i did that!! but be it his palat palat of DDLJ fame, or his aur pass aur pass of DTPH, what's not not to dream about???) and lastly, when I chose my life partner, the fact that he had a lot of resemblance (to my infatuated eyes) to shah rukh khan cinched the deal for me.. this was the guy i wanted to marry because he had dimples like shah rukh when he smiled.. his brows and mobile mouth all seemed to me like shah rukh!! and he was a die-hard fan too!!

you are probably laughing aloud now.. but seriously, the effect of this cute dude on my teenage mind was endless... after DDLJ today, all i am wishing is if and when I have a son, he should be like shah rukh khan.. playful and soulful at the same time.. please wish that my heartfelt prayer comes true my friends :)

maalika

spurts of stupidity..

every once in a while, I have to make a fool of myself.. it is a must.. a necessary condition of my existence..

and it is during these times that you will see a spike in my blogging frequency.. it's crazy.. but i love my blog.. it lets me reveal my stupidity.. there are folks who take tons of pics and look at them to recapture their memories.. i just look at my blog and it helps me recapture so much more (again the power of imagination)..

so many times i have debated changing the name of my blog - but i don't want to.. let my stupidity be public.. it just seems like the human thing to do..

anyhow - i have been feeling extremely uneasy the last 2-3 days.. hope the feeling subsides and i return to reality.. this surrealistic environment in which i roam for however short a time period, cannot be too good for me.. maybe you have good advice for me?

maalika

salvaged ego..

you might have noticed that i have not written in a long time now.. and the reason this time was really - i no longer knew who I was writing for.. as much as i wish i could write for myself, i have found that talking to myself when I am alone more or less satisfies the urge.. but someone - a random stranger.. i really do not know who and cannot begin to guess, thinks that my writing is nice.. and so here i am at it again..

that said, i have also been meaning to write now that I finished the book I was reading - the name of the rose.. one of the most beautiful works i have read in a long time.. written by a novice in the fourteenth century about his unique experience as a youth in an italian abbey.. (i think its a true story) - in this story, the novice who hopes to become a monk someday chances upon a beautiful girl one night in the abbey, and ends up having sex with her..

he knows he is probably never going to see her again, he knows that he wants to be a monk.. and devote his life to god.. but at his young age, he goes through the same tumult that each of us have gone through.. everything he sees is more clear, brighter, more beautiful the next day.. at the same there is a melancholy in everything he sees.. kid that he is, he goes to the library and reads experts books on curing love sickness (which according to him, is like a disease, which could even cause death - which technically is true too).. he reads lots of different solutions - like spend time with an old women who will scold the girl so much that all his love disappears, sleep with a lot of slave women etc.. but the thing that he uses is one solution - which is to repeat to yourself that you will never meet your love again.. that is is hopeless... apparently, this subdues the feelings and changes the pattern of over-excitability in the brain..

its probably all common sense.. and again stuff that we have been through.. but what was interesting for me was to study it clinically - as though love sickness was truly just a sickness.. and not something more.. just chemicals, hormones.. not the unlikely union of two minds.. not the magic of touch revealed.. not the sense of drowning in another's eyes... not the feeling of destiny locking the door behind you.. i dunno.. the powerful storm of feelings - all described as an illness, like jaundice.. it was interesting.. moving too.. because the prose evoked so much pity for this youth who was so chained to his ideas, that he thought love was a sickness.. the power of the society that he moved in.. very transporting..

anyway - it was a beautiful read... its actually like a mystery novel.. of course, to me - the only mystery continues to be human thought processes...