frequency...

I have already been asked by a couple of friends about why my blogging frequency has increased all of a sudden.. it's simple.. i have started working.. as creative as work is, it simply is not enough to catch up with my racing mind that needs an outlet.. mba had a way of sucking up all my creativity. now that i think about it, the last time i wrote a bunch of blogs was during my summer internships.. another reason is the time for reflection that you get at the end of your work day: when everyone has left, and you are sitting alone vacillating between going home into reality and staying on a few more minutes to pour all your heart out into a short entry and feel truly energized.. it's great.. my only only wish is that my posts are funny..

i consider myself a humorous person with a very high capacity to see the lighter side of things.. but still when i sit to write these stupid blogs, i become all melancholy reflection and i hate it.. i was just reading a bunch of old entries written 5 years ago by some of my classmates.. (i was an avid blog reader then) and they were so funny and light that i suddenly realized that all of that levity was gone from my entries.. although in life, i really am still very light-headed... much to the consternation of those around me..

but oh well.. i will try and do my best to keep things happy.. the key is to keep the poor reader in mind.. i wouldn't want you to feel sad after visiting my blog.. you will probably stop visiting it and then what is left for me is to just go home instead of spending this extra 15 minutes in my office trying to entertain and engage you.. i am sorry if this post sorta bored you.. it's still a change in the tone of my blog..

tons and tons of love,
m

ms subbulakshmi, meera bai and jane austen..

for those who do not know her magical voice.. listen to this meera's song to lord krishna.. you do not need to understand the lyrics.. just her voice and her eyes convey the depth of yearning for her lord.. one of my all time favorites..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PCiqqFVY4Xw

i wrote this short post this morning and it ended with the link.. but the whole day i have been preoccupied with this song and its meaning.. and in the futility of meera's love much like anyone else's.. her krishna is a figment of her own imagination.. and yet she loves him to the exclusion of all else.. the mythological idealization of her character reminded of me of a beautiful sentence from jane austen's novel persuasion.. towards the end the heroine who would have jilted her boyfriend thinking she deserved better, after 7 years realizes that she still has a chance at winning him and tells him in a conversation: "all the privilege I claim for my own sex (it is not a very enviable one, you need not covet it), is that of loving longest, when existence or when hope is gone.."

i was struck by the fact that loving when all hope is gone is described by jane austen as a feminine trait.. food for thought?

wuthering heights..

a long time ago, when i was still barely a teenager, I read a book called wuthering heights.. for those who know about this book, it is one of those rare dark classics and what is even more of a rarity - it was written by a woman (charlotte bronte), and no less than someone who was the sister of fellow author (emily bronte) of Jane eyre - another one of my favorite classics.. i used to read these classics in my uncle's home as my aunt was a lit major and they had tonnes of great books.. but i was always drawn to the tragedies.. two of my other favorites were pot of basil and silas marner.. all three i read in that same year when I was maybe 12 yrs old..

so, anyways.. i recently got this movie on netflix and saw it.. and there is this one statement which the heroine (cathy) makes to her maid which forms the crux of the novel "it would be degrading to marry him (heathcliff)... blah blah blah.. he is me, and i am him".. the hero just hears the degrading part and leaves never to return until she is married to someone else.. at that time i was fascinated by this thought... while I understood marriage at that time as being with the person you love.. to think that two people could be so like minded and united that a marriage would be superfluous and unnecessary was weird.. but she does have a relatively mellow marriage that suits her passionate character in a weird sort of way.. anyway, i never remembered the particulars of the story.. and recently i saw the movie and realized that she was not so happy and that she died so early because of the mistakes she and heathcliff make in their lives..

anyways.. its a great movie totally watchable - cathy played by juliette binoche.. and i still identify with the character of the heroine very very much.. how many small decisions make our life what it is! but whatever be the course our life takes, it seems to me that there is always a part of it that is worth cherishing and a part of it that will always be filled with regret...