ancient promises..

i always had an uneasy feeling that somehow my blog will turn into a mere book/music review one day.. looks like my intuitive powers are strong.. for yes, I am going to write about a book i read this morning and which seems to have affeted me pretty profoundly...

when i read the short sketch of the story(Ancient promises, by Jaishree Misra) on the cover of the paperback, i discarded it as yet another love story by one of those commonplace romantic women(with a degree in English literature, I may add..) who believed in twin souls and star crossed lovers.. but the fact that one of my batch mated was doing a term paper on it for Indian Fiction, made me read bits and pieces of the novel here and there (i have this very bad habit of reading the last page first... its still a mystery to me how inspite of breaking the suspense I end up reading the book anyway) .. And lo, the Acknowledgement( the very last page) brought tears to my eyes... and after the author's note (last but one page and which again melted my, as I am now sure, weak heart) i was determined to read the book...

A fabulous read straight from the honest heart of a brave woman... the accuracy with which the author has observed and penned the reactions of the characters.. the simple elegance of her writing.. and the touching storyline... squeezes the heart of the reader... bringing out waves of sympathy for the heroine (the main character and the narrator of the story... ) which turns into a slow admiration for her undaunted efforts to break out of what can only described as a hopeless situation...

Its a must read for Indian women.. i seriously believe that Indian women allow themselves to be dominated not because they like it, but because its convenient... assessing whether they are happy with their lives seems to be pointless to them, as they are not gonna do anything about it anyway... coz its too much effort to change the pattern established by the society... to stand up for what you want and believe in still seems to most of them, a revolutionary thought...

The author has done a truly commendable job in writing this semi-autobiographical story, giving hope to many that such things are indeed possible...

SADDEST POEM
I can write the saddest poem of all tonight.

Write, for instance: "The night is full of stars,
and the stars, blue, shiver in the distance."

The night wind whirls in the sky and sings.

I can write the saddest poem of all tonight.
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.

On nights like this, I held her in my arms.
I kissed her so many times under the infinite sky.

She loved me, sometimes I loved her.
How could I not have loved her large, still eyes?

I can write the saddest poem of all tonight.
To think I don't have her. To feel that I've lost her.

To hear the immense night, more immense without her.
And the poem falls to the soul as dew to grass.

What does it matter that my love couldn't keep her.
The night is full of stars and she is not with me.

That's all. Far away, someone sings. Far away.
My soul is lost without her.

As if to bring her near, my eyes search for her.
My heart searches for her and she is not with me.

The same night that whitens the same trees.
We, we who were, we are the same no longer.

I no longer love her, true, but how much I loved her.
My voice searched the wind to touch her ear.

Someone else's. She will be someone else's. As she once
belonged to my kisses.
Her voice, her light body. Her infinite eyes.

I no longer love her, true, but perhaps I love her.
Love is so short and oblivion so long.

Because on nights like this I held her in my arms,
my soul is lost without her.

Although this may be the last pain she causes me,
and this may be the last poem I write for her.

-- Pablo Neruda

aah, this precious commodity called time... if only i knew how to use it....